I Hate That I Love You
by VampireRide
Summary: I looked up into her chocolate brown eyes. They swirled with pain, sorrow, and depression. All caused by yours truly. I hated hurting her, but I had selfishly put my needs before hers just like I did all the time. It was getting worse and I probably needed help, but getting help was admitting. And admitting meant losing Max.


**I don't own MR**

**Fang**

Max sent me a weak smile as I collapsed on the couch next to her, exhausted from last night. "Hey Fang, did you have fun with Iggy?" She asked, and I yawned out a yes, running my fingers through my spiked up black hair. It was ruffled into a mess from last night, but I didn't care enough to fix it. All I wanted to do was lay down with Max and cuddle together so we could watch a chick flick about Romeo and Juliet are something like that while I tried to figure out ways to make it up to her for not being here last night.

"Okay, so I have…" Max began to list off all of the movies in our shared apartment as I closed my eyes, last night rushing into my imagination.

_She licked her cherry red lips seductively, sending me a small smile and a wink. Her finger curling around her dark auburn hair as she turned to her friend to giggle about my lean build. I smirked, wondering if it would be two expensive to get the two lovely ladies a drink._

"Hmm? That last one." I muttered, already half asleep, drowning in the smell of the girl's perfume that still lingered on me. For a moment I was worried about the hickey on my neck, but then decided I could whip up a quick story about how protective Iggy is over his cooking.

"Really? You want to watch the Purge?" Max asked, and even through my closed eyes I could see her jutting a hip out as she crossed her arms over her chest, cocking an eyebrow at my choice.

"Why not? Might as well step out of the comfort zone if I'm going to sleep through it," I decided, peeling one eye open as I smiled over at her. She smiled back, then frowned; her nose scrunching up adorably as she walked over to me and brushed her thumb against my two front teeth, revealing a bright cherry red color. Uh-oh.

_She was outrageously drunk, and outrageously forward as she shoved her lips against mine, walking me backwards into a wall where my back slammed into something painfully sharp; maybe a loose nail or something. However, as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer, I didn't bother to worry about it. All I really wanted to worry about was how many different ways I could successfully pull the girl's dress off._

"Did you drink again, Fang?" Max asked cautiously, and I could see by the pleading look in her eyes she just wanted me to make something up. She didn't want to hear the truth because she knew and if I said it out loud then she'd have to act like she knew. There would be no more pretending I was as loyal to her as she was to me.

"I um, Well Iggy whipped up some strawberry cake dessert thingy and I went back for thirds… and fourths… and fifths… and-"

"Okay, I get it," Max chuckled, though it wasn't the full hearted laugh I wanted to hear. "Fang, you're going to need an intervention one of these days. I swear you're going to marry food before you get the chance to marry me," she joked and walked over to the flat screen TV to put the movie in.

_We were stumbling down a hall, two bodies intertwined together to create one mesh of flesh that struggled to stick together as we searched for an empty room. I was getting impatient though, at the rate we were going the hallway would be a perfect place if I could only find a spot that wasn't stained with alcohol._

She walked back over and I sat up as she dropped down onto my lap, curling into my chest as I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close. I noticed how even when the movie began she paid more attention to the sleeve of tattoos on my arm than to the movie. I sighed to myself, kissing her forehead. "I love you, Maxie. I love you so much and I'm so sorry," I whispered. We both knew why I was saying this; however neither of us had the guts to speak the reason out loud.

"I don't think you're sorry, because if you were you wouldn't do it anymore, Fang. Let's just watch the movie." Max spoke calmly though hostility edged into her tone of voice. I deserved it. I didn't deserve her. Why did she still hold me so close if I only hurt her? Why did I hurt her if I was going to continue holding her close?

_At last we found a secluded room and dragged ourselves into it. I began to trail kisses up and down her neck after kicking the door shut, wanting nothing more than for this to happen quickly so I could back to Max and pretend this never happened. Without much warning to the girl, I shoved her backwards onto the bed, scowling when she squealed and forcing myself not to storm out of the room. I was silently thanking the lord Max didn't make strange noises like that._

The movie was coming to a close and my face was buried in Max's tee shirt, hidden away from the terrifying movie. I hated horror; it was stupid of me to not pay attention and unknowingly pick it. My fingers curled into the back of Max's shirt as she brushed her hand through my hair, trying to relax me and possibly stop the shaking. "Maybe you'll pay attention to me next time," Max whispered in my ear in an all-knowing tone. She wasn't talking about the movie, that much I knew. She was just trying to make it sound like that.

_I crawled on top of the girl and began kissing her passionately once again. She began to work the buttons on my shirt and I almost killed myself right there for wearing a button-up. They take too long to deal with. I groaned into the girl's neck as she fiddled with it, but she just laughed it off and eventually finished off the buttons, leaving me to toss the shirt into some dark corner before re-attaching our lips together._

"Fang, Fang the movie's over!" Max shook me gently, pulling me out of my fear-induced trip into imagination land, and I looked up into her chocolate brown eyes. They swirled with pain, sorrow, and depression. All caused by yours truly. I hated hurting her, but I had selfishly put my needs before hers just like I did all the time. It was getting worse and I probably needed help, but getting help was admitting. And admitting meant losing Max.

"Why don't we go to bed? We're both kinda tired," Max suggested, poking my neck playfully. I sent her a lopsided grin, something only reserved for her. The girl who had my heart.

"It's like one in the afternoon though," I pointed out.

"Eh, so what? It's also Saturday." Max countered.

"Can't argue with that," and then, in one fluid motion, I scooped Max up into my arms and carried her into our shared room, half stumbling from the lack of sleep.

"Fang! You're going to drop me!" Max exclaimed without screeching, or shrieking, or squealing, or whatever else those annoying girls do.

"No I won't. Love you too much to drop you… on the floor," I smirked as I tossed her on our bed. She let out a cry of fear before landing on the bed which squeaked under any amount of weight. It was too old and we honestly needed a new one, but some of the reason we didn't have the privilege of getting one was because I blew money gambling on my nights out with 'Iggy'.

I flopped down on the bed next to her and Max smiled at me, pressing a soft kiss on my lips before curling into me. "I hate that I love you," I heard her whisper, and even though I don't think I was meant to hear it; I did, and hearing it made my heart ache with the kind of pain that makes everything else feel like a scrape.

"I hate that you love me," I whispered back, causing Max to glance up into my eyes that swirled with all the lies, the late nights, and girls I've slept with since Max has told me she's waiting till marriage.

"But I do. So I guess we have to make the most of it," Max slung a leg over both of mine and I nuzzled my face into her neck, pressing a tender kiss on her shoulder.

"Yeah," I took a shaky breath and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me so that not a drop of air lay in between us. "Make the most of it,"

**Just a little summer present to basically rip your heart out and stomp on it XD**

**Soar on**

**VR**


End file.
